Sunday, December 28, 2008

Seeds from 2008

I'm sure Im not alone in writing about the closing days of 2008.  It seems we have all reaped the blessing of living in "interesting times" this year.  When I was a child, the days from Christmas to Christmas stretched on forever, but now the Earth appears to be spinning faster, so I'd better put down a few things I'm grateful for before I start my shopping for next year.  Oh!  speaking of shopping, I will be doing less.  I apologize to the U.S. economy if this does it more harm, but I know that paying down my credit card balances can only help long term.  So, If I no longer have the lure of shiny new things to distract me from what I truly want, I suppose I'll have to face what I truly want.  Why does that sound ominous?  How many of us are a little bit afraid, maybe a lot afraid, of our dreams?
     Speaking of dreams, (Ah, there was a nice little spot of avoidance), I did have one come true this year.  I lost 20 pounds, totally ramped up my fitness, and won the second  Turbulence Training Transformation challenge.  Me, a 44 year old suburban mom.  Then I put together that little Jazz singing show I always wanted to do, and it went beautifully. That's where the gratitude starts,  with Craig Ballantine, TT, and everyone on the forums at TTMembers.com.  Of course the list goes on and on when I think of all the people who have offered their kindness to me this year.  Especially my family.   I'm grateful for more faith, more love, and a growing understanding that anger and judgement don't really do a lot for me.  And envy!  Well, one I did learn one thing about that.  It's a very clear signpost to what I really want.  So to anyone I envied this year, although I hope you don't know who you are, Thank You! 
      What was I so afraid of this year? I'll tell you.  Success.  Success equals responsibility, and that has always scared me.  So the wisdom I needed to learn for 2008 had to do with the fact that courage is the ability to act in spite of fear.  Hmmm, looking at the year ahead, it appears that we will all need courage.  I'm sure that if I have it, you do too.